


afraid of losing you

by Anonymous



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood Drinking, M/M, Sheith Secret Santa 2020, Vampire Hunter Shiro (Voltron), Vampire Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28319988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Shiro is finally back in town after a long mission as a vampire hunter. Keith is over the moon to see his old friend, but is keeping a secret from him. He's not the same as when Shiro left...
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63
Collections: Anonymous





	afraid of losing you

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Foxien on the Sheith discord! I ended up writing a lot more than I thought I would, lol, but I hope you enjoy it :D

_"Let me come with you!"_

_"No." Shiro's voice was stern, even as his expression was one of understanding. "You're still too young to be taking on vampires, Keith. This mission's going to be a hard one... I can't say how long I'll be gone."_

_"...That's even more of a reason to come with you."_

_Shiro firmly gripped his shoulders, leaning down to catch his eye. "Hey. I know you'll be just fine. You're far stronger than you think."_

_"How will I know when you get back? What if we can't find each other?"_

_"I'll leave you a message in the usual place," he said with a reassuring smile._

_"I'll miss you."_

_Shiro's arms had embraced him tightly, pulling Keith to his chest. "Me too."_

♦

Keith would have liked to say the following years passed in a flash. Instead it was a slow, agonizing crawl. Just as he feared, they lost contact within a few months of Shiro having left the country. He faithfully checked the 'usual place' afterward—the bulletin board of the local university library, where Keith had been thinking of attending before everything changed. It was stuffed with advertisements, notices and little notes from students and other members of the community. Keith could recognize which messages were ciphers for hunters like Shiro, though he wasn't able to crack them anymore.

Once upon a time, he kept a close an eye on them, determined to prove himself. Keith winced in memory at that younger him who had impulsively decided to take on a vampire by himself. Shiro was right that he wasn't ready for it. He'd nearly died in the clash—or more accurately, he did die. The proof was clear as day whenever he saw himself in the mirror, his body unchanged with the times. At least he'd managed to get in a growth spurt before he stopped growing forever, so he could pass as a young adult rather than a teenager.

Eventually, it would become too strange to be unremarked on, especially when he was so familiar with the community of hunters. So Keith did his best to avoid the spots where they gathered in the hopes that no one would discover his secret, and made his living doing the odd jobs he could get around town. Running nightly deliveries on his motorcycle, taxiing people around and whatever else he could get his hands on. Of course he'd taken a few stints in restaurants and bars, but Keith wasn't exactly a people person—it was hard to hold onto them for long.

It was an especially cold winter day when Keith got that tightness in his chest, the kind that told him he needed to check the bulletin _today,_ as soon as possible, before Shiro's potential message could be covered up or stripped away. He'd just gone last week, but he could never deny that feeling in his heart. One delivery would put him near the university anyway. Keith made a beeline there after dropping it off.

What he expected was the usual—a mess of letters and numbers to scan, the hope slowly draining out of his stomach until his next visit. Instead, his eyes caught on the small bright red flier in hanging off the corner, with a small square of letters and numbers across it.

It was a code—not one of the newer ones, but an old one that he could actually read. The one Shiro had taught him long ago. Keith instantly ripped the paper from the board, his eyes flying over the letters as his breath caught in his throat. It took an instant to decipher the words on the paper, though he read it over twice to be sure.

_I'm home, Keith._

Once his fingers stopped trembling, he punched the numbers into his cell phone, praying that it was indeed what he thought it was. The phone slowly began to ring and then—

"Hello?" A low, gentle voice. Different now, yet so familiar it made Keith close his eyes. Years of tension left his body in a long sigh as he bowed his head.

"Welcome back, Shiro."

"Keith! I can't believe you found my message so quickly."

"I just got a feeling that I should check today," Keith told him. It was the truth, even if it left out just how often he turned up hoping to find any sign of Shiro waiting for him. "I'm not one to go against my gut."

Shiro chuckled into the phone, making a shiver shoot down Keith's back. "It's so good to hear from you. ...I worried about you a lot."

"Haha. Likewise. Is there—is there someway we could meet up?" Keith couldn't stop himself from blurting it out. He hoped he didn't sound as desperate as he felt. It was wonderful to know Shiro was home safe, even better to hear his voice, but ultimately he needed to see him—to touch him to know it was all for real. "Tonight? O-or maybe tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow sounds great. Will you be free around now?"

"Yeah! That'd be perfect!" Keith would have to move a few things around in the evening... He'd make it work.

"Great. Hey, I'm still getting settled in here, so I'll have to let you go. I'll text you the place soon. See you tomorrow?"

"Of course." Before the line could go dead, Keith quickly spoke into the phone, "Shiro. I'm glad you're back."

For a second, he was worried that he wasn't fast enough. Then, he heard Shiro's voice, full of warmth. "I'm glad, too."

So many things had changed since that day that Keith dreaded meeting Shiro again as much as he ached for it—but right now, there was only joy.

♦

The anxiety settled in when it was time for him to go to their meeting spot. Anticipation outweighed it, but Shiro was a seasoned vampire hunter. He had to know the signs better than anyone else. Keith often took to applying a thin powder of blush to his face to brighten it up, and waffled on whether or not it would be suspicious if Shiro noticed. Keith's skin felt cool to the touch, and he looked younger than he should—but Shiro hadn't seen him in years. There was little reason for him to suspect that Keith of all people was a vampire. Unfortunately, the more contact they had with each other, the higher the chance that Shiro would notice.

What would happen if he did? Though Shiro was accustomed to slaying vampires, Keith was afraid of something more than that—of being scorned and pushed away by him. Of seeing disgust and hatred color Shiro's face, and being told to get out of his sight or else.

The awful thought that somehow, he'd failed Shiro by becoming one of the same creatures that had taken everything away from him.

Keith pushed it down as far as it would go and came to the address Shiro had given him. It wasn't until Shiro was buzzing him in to the apartment building that Keith realized this was where Shiro was living now. It was a far cry from the place he shared with his ex long ago—but it was still way nicer than Keith's basement apartment.

While Keith mentally prepared himself for the awkward reunion, he still wondered what face he should make, what he should say after so long. When the door opened up and he saw Shiro in front of him, his handsome face was a little more worn, but it was unmistakably him.

A wide smile was on Shiro's lips as he ushered him inside. Rather than the room, Keith went straight for Shiro, catching him in a tight hug. Keith couldn't help but notice that he was a little leaner than before, though his body heat was incredibly warm. In fact—Keith couldn't remember the last time he'd held someone else like this, or felt someone wrap their arms around him. "It's good to see you, too," Shiro said with a laugh. "Must be pretty cold out there, huh?"

Keith pulled away at the words, reminding himself that he wasn't human anymore. If he didn't want Shiro to find out, it was in his best interest not to get so close to him. "Y, yeah. It's been a cold year," he said, rubbing his hands together.

Shiro didn't seem to think anything particular of it, his eyes scanning over Keith's form in genuine interest rather than suspicion. "C'mon, let's get you warmed up. I've got coffee, tea... hot chocolate?"

"I'll take some coffee."

The room was filled with boxes, half of them opened and emptied. The kitchenette seemed to be the most put together for now with a few filled out cupboards and stray appliances littering the shelves, including a half full coffee pot. The living room furniture so far consisted of two chairs in the middle of the floor with a TV tray between them and a tablet propped up on a stack of boxes.

"Sorry for the mess," Shiro called over his shoulder as he cleaned a mug in the sink. "I did a lot less unpacking yesterday than I wanted to."

"Did you just get back?"

"Yeah. I had to stay at headquarters for awhile when I got back in the country, but I made it back to town a few days ago." Shiro handed off his coffee as he took a seat.

Then Shiro had left his message for Keith right away. Maybe he was looking forward to their reunion as much as Keith had been...? He didn't dare ask something like that, yet Shiro seemed to perceive the question on his mind. "I wanted to tell you as soon as I could," he explained. "...I made you a promise." Keith swallowed hard, unsure of what to say to that. Shiro gave a sheepish grin, then teased, "Besides, I needed someone to help me with all these boxes."

Keith was more than happy to joke back. "So that's why you were so ready to invite me over."

"Figured some coffee and a pizza would be enough to convince you."

"Just coffee's fine for now." Keith took a long sip of his coffee—the taste of it and anything else he tried to eat was dull, but Keith did appreciate the way it warmed him up. Sitting across from Shiro like this almost made him feel—normal again. He cupped the mug in his hands and took Shiro in again. In the silence, Shiro was doing the same.

"You've grown a lot." It was a relief to hear Shiro say as much, though that was quickly erased when he went on. "I heard you didn't end up joining the hunters in the end."

"I... realized I'm not good at that kind of thing. After you were gone." The corner of his mouth quirked as Keith thought of the vast understatement he was making. "I'm even worse at that whole obeying orders thing than you thought."

"You've always been headstrong. Trying to be less impulsive and more patient is just something you have to keep working on." The way Shiro gently re-framed Keith's faults and encouraged him used to make him scoff, but Keith appreciated it more than he expected. Or maybe he just missed having someone around who bothered to do that for him. "What are you doing now?" Shiro asked.

"Just working around town. It's enough." Keith took another long drink, then set it to the side, avoiding Shiro's concerned glance. "Come on, we should get started on those boxes."

Despite the years apart, they got on just like how Keith remembered. After growing distant from people, Keith worried that he'd be even more of a mess than the rebellious young teenager Shiro mentored long ago. How glad he was to be proven wrong. It was so easy being around Shiro, vampire or not.

Obviously there was more to unbox and move around in Shiro's apartment than could be done in a single night, or even a few days. Keith made a point of coming by whenever he was able over the next week, with the excuse of helping Shiro settle in. Inwardly, he was well aware that he was pushing things every time their skin met, or when Shiro asked about his schedule or if he wanted to have anything to eat. Once he'd finished moving Shiro in, he'd have to start making excuses to stay further away from him.

It was a disappointment when they finally got to the last box—mainly decorative knickknacks and some wall hangings for the living room, but at the bottom he found a small framed picture wrapped in paper. The two of them together, taken a few weeks before Shiro left. Keith must have been staring at it for long enough that Shiro came up behind him to look at what he'd found.

"God, I looked like such a baby," Keith said finally, lifting the picture where Shiro could more easily see it.

"Me, too." Now that Keith had grown more accustomed to Shiro's current appearance, he could finally see how young Shiro was back then. Barely in his twenties, like Keith was now, but a hundred times more competent... Shiro's jet black hair had greyed in certain places since, and little lines of stress aged his face, making him look less like the fresh young man in the picture.

Keith couldn't imagine what it would be like looking after a kid like him if he were in Shiro's place. "Thank you for always taking care of me, back then."

"...Sorry for not staying behind."

"I never blamed you." As hard as it was on his own, the thought had never occurred to Keith. After all, if only he'd been stronger—

"It's not your fault either, Keith."

Keith swallowed hard, lowering his head. Shiro ruffled his hair like old times.

♦

It was hard for Keith to feed, now that Shiro was back in town. Though the blood he usually bought was too bitter and salty on his tongue, it filled him with an extra serving of contempt whenever he swallowed it down. A grim reminder that he wasn't human, that he was lying to Shiro. Whenever he and Shiro got together—once every week or two—the thought of coming clean enticed him, but then he remembered the taste of blood on his tongue, the things he'd seen other vampires do. His tongue froze with fear. Keith just couldn't take the chance.

"You alright, Keith?" Shiro's concerned voice.

"Ah, yeah." Keith quickly changed the subject as he tried to clear his head. "Just wondering if you were free next weekend? I think I might be off for once."

Rather than the soft smile Shiro tended to give in response to his invitations, he winced. "Sorry, Keith. Actually... I have a mission."

"What?" Keith could feel a pit open in his gut. Just when he'd finally gotten him back, Shiro was planning to disappear again? His hands balled into fists on the table. "But you just got home a couple months ago! Don't tell me you're leaving again?"

Shiro's fingers brushed over his hand. "Relax, Keith. This isn't that kind of mission. It'll just be a few days, taking care of a mark like normal." His reassuring voice and touch helped to center Keith. He took in a deep breath and cleared his head. Shiro was right, of course. The duties of a vampire hunter were more often smaller operations. Research into local crimes and other investigations, and taking care of vampires when they were found. Rare were larger raids that needed months of planning and preparation. The odds of Shiro having to leave on a massive operation like the one before was a hundred to one. Once Keith had calmed down, Shiro shifted back into his seat, drawing his hand away. "The hunters asked me to provide some extra support. They have their hands full lately and need all the help they can get. I can't just say no." Shiro's voice lowered, and he clutched at his wrist. "Not while I can still go out into the field."

All of Keith's excuses and earlier thoughts about keeping Shiro at a distance dissolved at the thought of letting him go into another fight on his own. It would be hard to hide his true self in a confrontation with another vampire, but if there was any way he could help Shiro, Keith had to take it. "I'm going with you."

"But—"

"It's final!" Keith insisted. "I'm not young anymore and it's not like I've been sitting on my ass these last few years. It'd be stupider if you refused my help and tried to go by yourself."

Shiro leveled a searching gaze at him, long and intense. Keith didn't let his expression budge an inch, determined more now than ever to come along. A part of him worried that Shiro would still reject him, but then, Shiro let out a sigh through his nose and slowly nodded his head.

"You might be right. But you stick with me and you do whatever I tell you, got it?"

"Understood."

♦

Keith never expected he'd be living his youthful dream now, following Shiro on a bonafide hunt as a real teammate. All of the little things Shiro had taught him back then and the things he'd tried to learn on his own came rushing back. Vampires could be impressively strong, so having the element of surprise was crucial to a successful mission. It took a couple days work to figure out the proper time and place to confront the vampire in question—a loner going by the name Bryak, responsible for a string of deaths in the neighboring town.

Though Shiro was a skilled hunter and Keith had faith in his own abilities, things could always go south quickly if another vampire decided to show their face.

Shiro's expression was serious, brows stern as they traveled toward the vampire's lair. "Hey. If anything happens to me..."

As much as Keith had prepared to hear it, he couldn't stop the bite in his voice. "Then I'm dragging you out of there and we call back up."

The smile Shiro sent back was a little exasperated. Still, he must have understood the force of his resolve, because he didn't try to tell Keith to leave him behind again.

The plan was simple enough. Shiro would take a sniping position to launch an ambush on the vampire, and Keith would keep watch of Shiro's back, as well as keep his eye on any outsiders. It was fortunate that Bryak had taken up residence at the edge of the town, in an old abandoned warehouse.

The moment he revealed himself to begin his nightly hunt—that was when they'd strike. Shiro loaded a bolt into the heavy crossbow, taking up a position in the nearby brush. One of those through the head or heart could kill a vampire instantly, and would certainly slow one down besides. There was other equipment in Shiro's arsenal in case it turned into a melee battle. Keith took a higher position in the trees so he could monitor the surrounding area.

Patience was important in staking out a target. Keith reminded himself of that as he ran his thumb over the hilt of the short sword in his hand. Shiro kept himself quiet and calm in place, so Keith had to follow his lead, steadying his nerves at the thought of being in a real combat situation with Shiro. There was also the other fact that the first and only time Keith killed a vampire, it had ended in a draw. With a long exhale through his nose, he drove those thoughts away and cleared his mind, eyes flicking back and forth over the street.

Keith could feel something change in the air before the noise came, and the warehouse door opened wide. A slender, almost sickly looking man with red hair buzzed short and high cheekbones crept out under the weak streetlights. Keith instantly recognized him as their mark, and tensed. He waited for Shiro to take the shot and end this, but Shiro was far more patient than him—waiting for only the clearest shot. It wasn't until the door had clanged shut and Bryak's back was facing Shiro's position that he heard the sharp _twang_ of the crossbow's string.

_Got him_ _,_ Keith thought smugly. But then, the vampire moved in a blur. Bryak shifted on his feet, whirling suddenly to the side. The bolt banged uselessly against the concrete building, sending a shudder through Keith. He looked toward Shiro, waiting for an order or a signal to make a move.

"I _thought_ I smelled one of you dogs sniffin' around here," Bryak said, a heavy drawl to his voice as he eyed Shiro's position. Keith tensed, teeth gritting. As soon as Bryak leaped forward toward Shiro's hiding place, Keith was leaping down to meet him.

"I'll pin him down, you ready another shot!" Keith yelled to Shiro, clashing against the vampire with his short sword.

"Keith!" He could hear the edge of frustration in Shiro's shout, but it was the best plan for now.

Bryak's thin face darkened and he moved to fall back, but Keith lunged after him to cut off his escape route. With a brutal thrust toward his chest, Keith continued his advance, surprising the vampire with his agility. Their blades clashed as Bryak blocked his strike. His sharp eyes narrowed in recognition, and his nose crinkled in a mix of disgust and confusion. "What? You—why are you helpin' _them_?"

"Shut up!" Keith lashed out with his blade. The point dug into the thick cloth at Bryak's middle as he just barely parried the attack.

"You'll die with your precious hunter just the same," Bryak bit out. Keith gnashed his teeth, gripping the hilt of his sword tighter as he and Bryak traded blows.

"Ready!" Shiro called out over his shoulder.

Keith jabbed again at the vampire, forcing him into another clash of blades. He knew Shiro was prepared for his signal, aiming at them and waiting for a clear shot. Keith deflected a blow and buried his knee deep into the vampire's gut, doubling him over.

"Now!" Keith ducked to the side and heard the click of the crossbow. Bryak barely had time to look up before the bolt whizzed past Keith's arm and nailed Bryak directly in the chest.

He let out a gasp, staggering backward. One hand came to grip the shaft, nails scrabbling at the bolt that pierced his body. Keith felt himself relax—an instant too soon. Bryak's expression changed and he let out one last cry. He flung his hand out with all of his remaining strength, launching the hunting knife with precision toward Shiro.

For the second time that night, Keith felt his body move before he could think about the consequences. Or maybe, the consequences didn't matter one bit if he was able to protect Shiro. Even the fact that Shiro was a practiced vampire hunter who could probably take care of himself didn't matter to him.

Keith threw himself in front of the blade.

Red-hot pain pulsed through his body as the knife ripped through his side. Keith collapsed onto his knees as Shiro yelled out his name. Cold blood poured from the wound and he pressed his hand to the deep gash to stop it. Few other things that Keith had experienced could compare to the pain, but he would be able to heal from it. He was a vampire, after all, made of stronger stuff, but the part where he was losing blood was a big problem. His head swam and his vision sharpened in on Shiro's form barreling toward him.

"Damn it, Keith! You're too reckless!" Shiro leaned Keith's body against his own as he dug in his pockets for something to staunch the blood.

"Look, I'm... I'm fine, Shiro. Looks worse than it is," Keith said with a weak laugh. He swallowed, trying to push away from Shiro, but his grip around Keith was firm.

"Don't move!" Shiro firmly began to bind the wound in a practiced manner. His hands ran over Keith's waist, so, so warm against Keith's chilled skin even through their clothes. Keith could practically hear Shiro's heart beating wildly in his chest, the mix of adrenaline and fear. Keith gulped again, the hunger starting to grow more intense. There was warm blood flowing in Shiro's veins—and that would be enough to make him feel better and heal his body. _No!_

"W-where's my..." Keith pawed for the flask of blood that he kept on him in case of emergencies like this. The inside pocket of his jacket was completely empty. He craned his neck, hoping to find it in the brush somewhere. A glint of glass caught his eyes. The cracked remnants of a flask lay beneath the tree he leaped from, smashed open the stones below, the valuable blood now uselessly soaked into the dirt.

Keith's mouth felt dry. "Shiro... You have to listen to me. I-I'll be alright. I swear. Just... get away from me! Right now." He could feel his strength draining and suddenly feared that he'd end up attacking a human. A terrible thought no matter the victim, but Keith would never forgive himself if that person was Shiro. The desperation and restraint almost brought him to tears as he begged, "Please!"

"Keith..." Shiro looked down at him, voice far too calm for the situation. "You need blood, don't you?"

That knocked the breath out of Keith almost as hard as the wound itself. "S-Shiro?!"

"Sorry, Keith. You're pretty bad at keeping secrets, you know?" Rather than the disdain that Keith was so afraid of, Shiro was looking at him apologetically. "You got hurt for me. The least I could do is help you now." Help? He couldn't mean...

But of course, Shiro did mean it. He unzipped his heavy jacket, exposing his throat for him to see. Keith's eyes locked onto it and his body ached, filled with want. Need. It scared him how much he wanted to sink his teeth into Shiro's throat. "I don't know if—I can control myself." The words came out in a near whimper.

"You can. I believe in you, Keith." How could Shiro be so sure in him, again and again? Yet Shiro was, as his eyes stared into Keith's own. He tilted his head back to entice Keith further, urging, "Now, come on."

Keith couldn't help himself—not when his body was aching for it and Shiro was offering himself like that. His teeth elongated, responding to Shiro's encouragement more than his own reluctance to go through with it. Keith breathed in through his nose and clenched at Shiro's jacket, dragging him closer. His mouth watered and he clenched his eyes shut tight as he bit into Shiro's throat.

The gush of blood that poured into his mouth was more delicious than the cold, stale blood he bought already bagged. It was so hot and sweet, savory, and he eagerly gulped it down into his throat, sucking hard at the open wound. The thought that it was Shiro's blood nourishing him turned the awful obligation into something different. Something—joyous, at least while his mind was fogged with the hazy pleasure of feeding from someone he cherished so dearly. For a moment, it almost felt like they were one being—with the same blood flowing through both of their veins—

Shiro let out a low groan, instantly knocking Keith back into his senses. He forced himself away from Shiro's body, eyes wide as he took stock of his condition. "Shiro! I didn't, take too much, did I?"

Shiro was panting, but his complexion didn't seem to worsen. He was clearly dizzied by the experience, even as he insisted, "You're fine. No more than what I'd donate on the regular. Really."

That wasn't enough to convince Keith—not when he was the one responsible for Shiro's weakness in the first place. "We should get back so you can get treated."

"How are you, Keith?"

For a second, Keith didn't know what he was talking about, so frantic over Shiro's condition that he'd forgotten his own. The influx of blood had a rejuvenating effect, speeding up his natural healing. The wound seemed to have closed partially—though it still hurt like hell when he moved.

"Good enough to drive us to an emergency room."

Shiro gave a lazy smile. "Honestly, I could kill for a burger right now."

♦

Shiro did look much better after stop for lunch, and the symptoms of his anemia had all but faded completely. Without Shiro's health at the forefront of his mind, Keith was able to dwell on other things. Namely, how terrifying it was to think Shiro knew his secret—that he had for awhile now.

"I thought you'd hate me," he murmured quietly.

"For what?" Shiro was always so understanding, even now, throughout everything. "You're still Keith, no matter what anyone else has done to you."

Keith bit his lip and blurted out, "I'm the only one to blame!" The truth that he'd been keeping hidden since the day he was turned—no, the day he refused to let things end there. "I... should have died back then. I had a choice." To roll over and accept that he wasn't going to make it, or to take the dying vampire's blood into his own mouth and swallow it down, hoping that it would save him. "I had a choice, and I _chose_ this, I chose..." To become a monster. Keith choked before the words came out.

"You chose to live, Keith," Shiro interrupted him. His hands reached out, taking Keith's face into them and bringing him close. He pressed their foreheads together. "And I'm so, so glad for it." A low, effected whisper.

"Shiro..." Keith's shoulders suddenly felt lightened by it, all of his fears fading to nothing. Even the ones he didn't realize he'd been holding onto—the fear of a different kind of rejection. Slowly, delicately, Keith tipped his head up and brushed his lips against Shiro's in a soft kiss.

Shiro's eyes widened slightly. His fingers twitched and then pulled Keith forward, deepening the kiss as he returned it. Keith was practically soaring when Shiro finally broke the kiss. His cheek leaned into Shiro's hand as he gazed at him, full of unabashed affection.

"Promise me you won't do anything that reckless again, alright." As quiet as Shiro's voice was, Keith could hear the intensity in it.

Emboldened now, Keith let the impulsive words leave his lips, "If you kiss me again, I might do anything."

That earned a chuckle from Shiro, but he was all too willing to give into Keith's demands.


End file.
